I was having a weird and mixed dream. You know how dreams just jump from event to event without any reason.

I dont know who or what I was waiting for in a room then someone (H) came in and it turned out to be our old house toilet and I suddenly ran out past my old room and into the guest room and my late grandma (moms side) was there, plump, happy, smell of her dear self – it was the smell I knew so well – I looked at her in shock and asked H if she saw her too, H nodded and I went ahead and hugged her, the moment we embraced, my alarm clock rang

I woke up with incredible sadness and bewilderedness and dreaded getting out of bed into the freezing cold at 7.30am.

These days it’s getting warmer but last night I left the door open too wide and too much cold air came in.

Oh how I wish I could gather-gather in Connie’s house and reminisce about the good old times.

Flew home and back here so fast.

It barely registered in my mind that the time has already passed … now I have a whole year (possibly more) ahead of me without any solid home contact. I wonder if I can live with that, because I’ve never left home for so long before. I’ve always flown home regularly during holidays. For work commitments, family commitments, never really for my own pure leisure, but still I get to go home.

I just hope my family’s doing well. 南无阿弥陀佛请保佑我们全家人平安无事 !

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